Why humour is important....

I think blogs should post the odd joke or two....

What do you call a wildcat-turned actor? Colin Feral.

Why it pays to be busy, busy, busy...

This story below, outlines the reasons to be busy, busy, busy.

"Dear Mum and Dad,

I know you worry very much about my career in the movies. I want you to know I have branched out. For example, I have become a poster model. 

Better than that: I collect royalty checks for being a stencil for t-shirts and mugs. See the picture on the left--that's me.

It's much better than the stint I had in the museum, dressed as a warrior. I don't think you ever saw a picture of me in warrior costume (below). 



See what I mean? 
These earrings never suited me. 


Here are some other stencils. Let me know which colour is your favourite.

Personally, I think green is mine. 

In short, being busy, busy, busy has improved my CV. I want employers to think I am doing other things rather than sitting at home with the telly.

Maintaining a strong work ethic, you know? That's what it's about...adding a few strings to your bow.

And it pays the rent, too.


Your ever-loving son, 

Dennis xxx..."

How The Robot Saw The Light, Became The Light.

We begin this blog post with a story, How The Robot Saw The Light, Became The Light.

Once upon a time, there was a robot and his friend, Jason. They lived together in a small house in London. Their hobbies included Su Doku, football, fish and chips and computer games.

Oh, and it's worth pointing out that Jason invented the robot. So good was the invention, the robot could even cook fish in his microwave belly while playing the piano. When the piano didn't sound right, the robot (with the fish still cooking) became a piano 'tuna'.

The robot had never been happier. His past life as a kettle was nothing more than a footnote for his memoirs, nothing more....




They spent many hours playing computer games.

Then they spent many hours remembering footballers' names.

Then later, Jason said to the robot... "I got something to tell you. The news will be hard to take in...."

"I'm running off with a kangaroo," he said. "We love each other and we're running away. This means I'm leaving you."

"Oh," the robot said. "Maybe I can come and say goodbye? Say farewell to an old chum?"

"Oh no," Jason said. "We'll never see each other again. I'm leaving you for good."

"For good?" the robot said. "I thought we were friends forever?"

The robot looked at him. And although he was made of a kettle and a microwave with metal limbs attached, he still had a heart.

He heard his friend open a suitcase.

He heard his friend stuff a suitcase.

He heard the 'phweeee' of the zipper on a suitcase.

Then he said to himself. What about me? What about me?

But Jason left the house with his suitcase.

He waved his friend goodbye.

Then he thought, maybe he'll come back....




He waited until the night came.









Then he waited until the sun rose.


And until he became a pop art postcard that sold in the shops.

Then he was all alone. He realised that without Jason, he would have no money to pay the rent.

He wouldn't have a roof over his head.

He wouldn't have a room with a bed.

And most of all, he wouldn't have a chair for his Ted.

So the robot applied to be a street lamp. He heard it paid good money. And he would meet new people, too. This was something he wanted very much.

And he lived happily ever after.

Improve your methods of storytelling.

Spark words are very important when you are brainstorming for new ideas. So far, the word, "family" has generated many new ideas. 

This time, I want to show you a technique called the camp fire technique. This method will help your story grow organically.

I am sure you know this: to create a camp fire, you need sticks, bigger pieces of wood, logs, matches and you get fire and smoke. Then you have warmth. Maybe the fire is used to cook fried eggs or a meal of some sort. Afterwards, the group may have a sing-song round the camp fire.

Now, each item in the camp fire represents a component used in storytelling. 

For example, the sticks represent the main characters.

The bigger pieces of wood represent other characters in the story.

The matches represent the theme of the story.

The fire is the drama within the story.

The fried eggs or sing-song represent the minor characters or sub-plots or themes or inner thoughts that add to the drama.

The smoke is the outcome of the story.

Maybe this will help you craft something special. Maybe the components will help you structure your story? Maybe you can grow organically, with the recurring themes cropping up in the character's life?



Give it a go. To start yourself off, create a character that is an office bully by day but by night, is a lonely alcoholic who yearns for female companionship.

What goes through his mind? What is his life path? How ambitious is he? Why is he a bully? Is this because he follows orders and is happy to pick up a pay check at the end of the month? What's his place of residence like?

I think that office bullies need horse-whipping for many reasons, although they make good story characters. And good characters are the preserve of any organic story. They allow the story to grow. And that's what you want from any story. Can't say much more than that.

How "spark words" can help you create ideas--Part 2

Continuing with our theme of 'spark words' and using the term, 'family' as a trigger to help you create stories, here are five more items you could write about.

1. How your mother and father met for the first time. What was it like for them when they met? Was it love at first sight? 

I haven't a clue how my parents met for the first time. They refuse to say, so I can only guess.

2. What went through your father's mind before he met your mother? What were his goals in life? Was he a hit with the women? Or did he have friends to egg him on? Maybe you could write about that?

3. Now do the same for your mother. What was she likely to be doing before she met your father?

4. Write about their wedding?

5. Write about the arrival of a newborn in the family. How did your parents prepare the house? Did relatives go out of their way to congratulate your parents?

Mine said, "I don't care if she's given birth to a monkey."

6. When relatives visited the newborn, what was the experience like? Were they praiseworthy or downright rude?

Mine said, "He doesn't look like either of you..."

7. Describe your first day of school. What did you have to do in the run-up to school? What was it like in class, meeting new people?

8. Homework. Write about that. Write about the teachers that assigned you homework: who gave you easy homework and who gave you mountains of essays to do?

9. Detention: did that make you late for dinner at home? What happened then?

10. Talk about the family vacations. Did you sing any songs in the car during those long journeys, or did your father listen to the car radio?

11. What upset you the most when you took a family vacation? Was it learning that your dog was not coming...AND...was going to stay at kennels. What reasons did your mother give? How did you react?

More to come. Enjoy.

How "spark words" can help you generate ideas.

Spark words.

The use of "spark words", that is, words that generate little sparks of ideas...ideas which can grow into something much bigger.

Different people will come up with different ideas.

For example, the word, 'family' is a spark word. This is because each and every one of us grew up differently, which shapes our definition of 'family'.

Maybe you could write about the following,

1. The best Christmas present you ever received.

2. What was it like seeing your parents getting ready for work?

3. Describe a day when you were ill. What was that like? How did your parents or family members look after you?

4. Write about a time when a family member subjected you to their fury. What was it like to be shouted at?

5. Did you live a family life where you were over-protected by your mother and father? What was that like? Did you feel suffocated? Did you envy your peers who were allowed to roam the streets at night while you had to go to bed?

Your family may not have consisted of blood relatives. For example, you may have been adopted or grew up in a children's home. How did that shape the way you viewed the world? 

More to come over the next few days.

'Hair' we go again

Men: have you ever grown a beard and learnt that your spouse did not like it?

Write a story about it.

Women: imagine a day when you woke up to a beard on your face. How do you react? Do you let it grow? If so, why?

Write a story about that.




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Location:Riggindale Rd,London,United Kingdom